Musings on
"The path to Ecstasy"

by A.H. Marvel

NOT “Art of Seduction”. This series of words is completely overused. I am tired of hearing these words to talk about sexuality and sensuality.  If I see an article titled with these words I'm actually going to avoid reading the article. On the other hand, I totally understand magazines and media use words that attract their readers into participating. It's a challenge!

Yet, the definition of seduction is to trick or manipulate someone into giving you sex against his or her desire. To manipulate another for sex is not consensual. We need to use words that entice without manipulating. Especially when we're talking about sexuality!

Unfortunately, our society has become very reprogrammed in the use of this word mostly because of advertising. Since humans love sex (and rightly so), “seduction” is a buzzword that has been used to sell everything from pineapples to cars to body wash. It’s a shame to be so blinded by something so wonderful.

Essentially, seduction in our modern world means harming others for self-gratification.  Fortunately, the art of sensuality after the age of 50 is a completely different topic.  The trick is focusing on the word “art”.

Art involves mastery, movement and the delight of one’s senses. I'd really rather read an article titled “The Art of Pleasure After 50”.

In America, there's a great sex positive movement. The movement definitely impacts everyone over the age of 50, so why not celebrate the fact?

I propose that magazines and media actually discuss freeing oneself from the manipulative mindset of seduction. Today's world is about mindfulness. So how does this translate into deeper sexual connection AFTER the child rearing years?

Truly, the new way is to first start talking about the old way. In other words, starting right where we are NOW.  It's really time to talk about stepping into one's sensual power and doing it by way of conversation with your lover.

We know from all of the research done on women’s sexuality and men’s sexuality that these are two very different paths leading to the same place. The destination is a pleasurable connection. In the art of sensuality after the age of 50, it starts with connecting to our words.

It’s time to free the mind so that the body can be juicy and loving. That is the path to ecstasy! It’s pretty sexy to just sit down with your lover and talk about the words that turn you on. To talk about how the words that impact your mind, which affects your heart, which then affects your hormones elicit sexual response (especially for women).

This practice allows us to also discuss fears around sexuality. Through this, we can discard those fears. Doing this together with your lover is beautiful. Releasing fear opens the emotional heart for trust and allows lovers to be heroes to each other.

An analogy would be like two warriors meeting on the battlefield. They're both wearing a lot of armor and they have swords and helmets and shields. Seduction would be the battle and whichever one wins is the conqueror.

Is that what love is really about?

Is that what sex is really about?

Is that what you want?

It’s not what I want. Most importantly, as an empowered woman, I absolutely will not tolerate any form of manipulation around my sexuality. Period.

In the new way, the two warriors meet on the battlefield, but they're meeting to discuss a truce.  In the discussion, they each start by taking off a helmet so that they can see eye-to-eye. The sword stays in its sheath. After some discussion about needs and fears, pieces of armor start to come off. One after the other the barricades are shed. Soon each lover as warrior stands naked before each other, their healed over wounds and scars so apparent to each other.

Why would you want to manipulate and steal from a beautiful and vulnerable being that is looking at your beauty and vulnerability too?

No, The Art of Seduction is not where any of us really want to go, as we are moving into a mature sexuality.  Instead, we're moving into a deeper sensual connection with the self and one’s lover.  This is an opportunity where sexuality becomes a force of healing after surviving the challenges of life.

We are wounded, and that shows up in our sexuality. We are flawed, and that also shows up in our sexuality. We are also compassionate, creative, loving, and humorous - all qualities that lead to fabulous sex with one's lover!

As we age, our talents have become mastery and our weaknesses have transformed into great strengths. Sensuality after 50 means that we’ve got a better capacity for having amazing, mind blowing sex because we are empowered!

You can’t get that kind of power in your 20’s or 30’s.

Sex with your empowered, over 50 lover is destined to be hot. So hot that it burns the curtains down and the fire department has to save your house.

And let’s face it; being saved by a crew of firemen is truly the sexy cherry on top of your tasty sex-capade treat!

- A.H. Marvel